make the most of it

so my first try, just 100 words it's not easy at all


Jack loves waking up in Ianto’s arms. He had slept alone for so long. He loves watching the Welshman still asleep, he look so young, so peaceful, when Ianto nuzzling into his neck, and whispering Jack’s name in his dreams. Jack has to admit, that the thing he loves the most with sleeping with Ianto it’s when they can stay in bed and make love all day. As they are alone in the world, and nothing to think about but them. Jack knows he can’t have his beautiful boy forever, but they can make the most of it.

Right now.


so ?

Beautiful, but quite sad when you know what the title is referring to Do you want me to correct your mistakes ?

thank you, I didn't want to write something sad for begin but it's just happend!

( but for the record CoE didn't exist ! so I don't know what you mean )

and yes please!

Not bad at all

I take the liberty of rewrite it if that can help you. I don't promise it's perfect but I did my best ^^

Jack loves waking up in Ianto's arms. He had slept alone for too long. He loves watching the welshman when he's still asleep, he looks so young, so peaceful, when ianto nuzzling into his neck, and whispering his name in his dreams. Jack had to admit that the thing he loves the most in sleeping with ianto is when they can stay all day in bed and make love. Like if they were alone in the world, and nothing to think about but them. Jack knows he can't have his beautiful boy forever but they can be together as long as possible.

thank you !

it's just I want to keep my last sentence, it's Ianto's word

so sorry, I didn't recognized it

don't worry !

itsuki a écrit:

Jack loves waking up in Ianto’s arms. He has been sleeping (you choose present as your main tense so you can't use the past perfect (well, technically you can but it feels weird). Simple rule : present=>present perfect (continuous or not), past=>past perfect (continuous or not)...That page might help you) alone for so long*. He loves watching the Welshman still asleep, looking (or "he looks", but "looking" seems more literary) so young, so peaceful, when Ianto is nuzzling (you can't use the "ing" form without an auxiliary) into his neck and whispering Jack’s name in his dreams. Jack has to admit that the thing he loves the most with sleeping with Ianto it’s the thing he loves the most when he sleeps with Ianto is when they can stay in bed and make love all day, as (you can't begin a sentence with "as") they are alone in the world, and they have nothing to think about but them. Jack knows he can’t have his beautiful boy forever, but they can make the most of it.

Right now.

*If you wanted to express a situation (to sleep alone for a long time) that has ended a long time ago, use "he had been sleeping", not "he had slept", the action of "sleeping" is continuous, not punctual.

Here you go, I corrected a few things.

thank you!

and thanks for the link !

so if I have choose to write my text in past,


Jack loves waking up un Ianto's arms, he has been sleeping -->Jack loved waking up in Ianto’s arms. He had slept...

it's right ?

Nope, whatever tense you choose you can't use "slept" because that action lasted a long time. It's either "he has been sleeping" or "he had been sleeping".

Slept count as a precise action done at a precise and brief moment.

Here's a example :

After Mary's departure, Johnny ate a burger. Then he took a shower and slept for a while.

You can use the simple past because you make a list of actions that occur one after another. That's quite specific.

The french translation can's help you :

"He had slept alone for so long" would give you "Il avait dormi seul pendant tellement longtemps" if you translated it word for word...I think that's why you did that mistake, english and french tenses are not always the same.

oh ok, I understand now.

next time tomorrow !

so another text, I fear the worst (it's the good word?)

Ianto was nervous. Since Jack asked him out on a date, he didn’t know what he wanted from him. A real relationship, to be his boyfriend? Ianto didn’t know how to react to that. When they are just shagging, it was easy. No questions asked, no feeling, for Jack anyway. But now ? Did it mean Jack loved him, or will love him one day? Ianto was so confused.

He was in his bedroom, full of clothes everywhere, and didn’t know what wearing. Casuals clothes ? Tight jeans and shirt like the day they met, or maybe Jack’s favorite suit.

When the doorbell rang, Ianto was still undressed, he ran to the door just wearing a boxer short and opened to Jack. The grin on the captain’s face was delightful.

- Ianto you make my day!
- I give up Jack, I have absolute no idea, what you want me to do. Can we just forget all this date stuff and just being together?

Jack didn’t answer, he just closed the door behind him, and kissed his half naked gorgeous boy.

Later, they was lying in bed and watching at each other, Jack was speaking softly

- I mean what I said before, I want us to go on dinner, and movie like a couple, I want a real relationship with you Ianto

The young man nodded and listened to his lover

- When I was away, It wasn’t a good time for me, not at all, and the only thing which gave me hope, what the idea of seeing you again, seeing this smile. Even if it's just to sit down with you coffee magic, and talking. I want to say to the world that I love you, I what to say it to you, I love you Ianto.

Ianto hold his breath to the last word, and then he replied softly.

- I love you too Jack, and I want us to be a couple

In the night, Ianto was thirsty, when he came back in his bedroom, he stared at his beautiful boyfriend asleep in his bed.

Boyfriend? yeah he loved this word.

I love when Ianto open the door to jack

- Ianto you make my day!, that's so him ^^



Ianto was nervous. Since Jack asked him out on a date, he didn’t know what he wanted from him. A real relationship, to be his boyfriend? Ianto didn’t know how to react to that. When they are just shagging, it was easy. No questions asked, no feeling, for Jack anyway. But now ? Did it mean Jack loved him, or will love him one day? Ianto was so confused.

He was in his bedroom, full of clothes everywhere, and didn’t know what to wear. Casuals clothes ? Tight jeans and shirt like the day they met, or maybe Jack’s favorite suit.

When the doorbell rang, Ianto was still undressed, he ran to the door just wearing a boxer short and opened to Jack. The grin on the captain’s face was delightful.

- Ianto you make my day!
- I give up Jack, I have absolute no idea what you want me to do. Can we just forget all this date stuff and just being together?

Jack didn’t answer, he just closed the door behind him, and kissed his half naked gorgeous boy.

Later, they were lying in bed and watching at each other, Jack was speaking softly

- I mean what I said before, I want us to go on dinner, and a movie like a couple, I want a real relationship with you Ianto

The young man nodded and listened to his lover

- When I was away, It wasn’t a good time for me, not at all, and the only thing that gave me hope, what the idea of seeing you again, seeing this smile. Even if it's just to sit down with you coffee magic, and talk. I want to say to the world that I love you, I want to say it (those words) to you, I love you Ianto.

Ianto hold his breath to the last word, and then he replied softly.

- I love you too Jack, and I want us to be a couple

In the night, Ianto was thirsty, when he came back in his bedroom, he stared at his beautiful boyfriend asleep in his bed.

Boyfriend? yeah he loved this word.


if that can help you

yeah thank you !

Awesome ! I'll just correct some tense mistakes...

Citation :

Ianto was nervous. Since Jack asked him out on a date, he didn’t know what he wanted from him. A real relationship, to be his boyfriend? Ianto didn’t know how to react to that. When they are were (you have to stick to the past tenses) just shagging, it was easy. No questions asked, no feeling (I would rather say "no feelings involved"), for Jack anyway. But now? Did it mean Jack loved him, or will would (in the past tense, "will" usually becomes "would") love him one day? Ianto was so confused.

He was in his bedroom full of clothes everywhere, and (he) didn’t know what to wear. Casuals clothes? Tight jeans and shirt like the day they met, or maybe Jack’s favorite suit?

When the doorbell rang, Ianto was still undressed. He ran to the door just wearing a boxer short and opened to Jack. The grin on the captain’s face was delightful.

- Ianto you make my day!
- I give up Jack, I have absolute no idea what you want me to do. Can we just forget all this date stuff and just being be (the phrase is "to be together") together?

Jack didn’t answer, he just closed the door behind him and kissed his half naked gorgeous boy.

Later, as they were lying in bed watching at (you don't "watch at someone", you "watch someone") each other, Jack was speaking spoke softly.

- I mean what I said before, I want us to go on to dinner, and to watch a movie like a couple, I want a real relationship with you Ianto

The young man nodded and listened to his lover. (the use of "listened" here is weird, was he not listening to Jack before?)

- When I was away, it wasn’t a good time for me, not at all, and the only thing that gave me hope what was (typo mistake?) the idea of seeing you again, seeing this smile. Even if it's just to sit down with you your coffee magic and talk. I want to say to the world that I love you, I want to say it (those words) to you, I love you Ianto.

Ianto hold his breath to the last word, and then replied softly.

- I love you too Jack, and I want us to be a couple

In the night, Ianto was thirsty, when he came back in his bedroom, he stared at his beautiful boyfriend asleep in his bed. (that sentence is a bit weird. Why not something like "Ianto woke up in the middle of the night and went to drink. When he came back to his bedroom, he stared at his beautiful boyfriend asleep in his bed and smiled"...it's weird to just "stare" and do nothing after...well, that's not a mistake, that's just my personal opinion)

Boyfriend? yeah he loved this word.

Hope that's okay !

thank you!

it's ok, your suggestions are good !

just a little text today

When Jack came back to the SUV after the sleeper agent made him blown up, he wanted to speak to Ianto. He wanted to hear his beautiful welsh vowels when he was dying.
So Ianto spoke, tell him a coffee was waiting for him, and tonight when everybody would gone home, they would walk on the bay, just holding hand and looking at the sunset.
When Jack didn’t answer Ianto knew it’s was finish, he just ran to the car park and wait. After Gwen and Beth were return to the hub, he took the captain’s head on his lap, stoked his hair and kissed his forehead.
When Jack came back to life, the first thing he saw was Ianto’s beautiful eyes, and he knew he was safe, in the arms of the man he loved.